


Three Times Dirk Ruins a Date and One Time He Doesn't

by preciousbunnynoiz



Series: Team Jacket [2]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Awkward Dates, F/M, First Dates, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Third Wheel Dirk, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 10:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12167004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousbunnynoiz/pseuds/preciousbunnynoiz
Summary: Todd and Farah's dates keep getting ruined by Dirk until he doesn't.





	Three Times Dirk Ruins a Date and One Time He Doesn't

**Author's Note:**

> You might want to read the first part of the series to understand their relationship but a quick overview:
> 
> 1.They are in a polyamorous relationship where Todd is dating both Dirk and Farah but Dirk and Farah are not dating each other.
> 
> 2\. Todd and Dirk live together
> 
> 3\. They are all awkward as hell

**Picnic**

It was perfect.

The weather was warm and it wasn’t raining. They had laid out a blanket and Todd had even found a traditional picnic basket which he had loaded with Farah’s favourite pastries and treats.

She was sat on the blanket, her legs stretched in front of her as she leaned back on her arms. She had her face turned to the sun, her eyes closed and a soft smile on her lips.

Todd could hardly look away.

When they were on a case Farah often wore her badass bodyguard persona like armour. Even now it wasn’t fully gone as evidenced by the sensible boots and the handgun he knew she had holstered under her sweater.

But times like this, when they were just having fun she’d let go and Todd was lucky enough to see her soft side which was large.

She was wearing a pink sweater that was so soft that Todd had to resist burying his face in it just to feel its texture. She also wore a long gossamer skirt in soft pinks and blues. She was utterly beautiful and Todd felt privileged to see this side of her and he silently thanked Amanda for steering him right in his date choice. Left to his own devices he probably would have taken her an action movie or something.

 _“Dude that’s girl who needs to be wined and dined. Dump that romance shit on her”_ Amanda had told him before telling him to fuck off.

Todd moved his hand so it covered Farah’s, she turned to look at him and smiled before they came together in a sweet kiss, it was gentle and lingering. It was a perfect intimate moment.

“Team!”

Until right then.

Todd pulled back with a groan before turning in the direction that Farah was looking with a raised eyebrow.

“Dirk what are you doing here?” he asked exasperated.

“I should be asking you the same question!” Dirk huffed, “I was walking through this park when I had a thought about what our next case should be and then you appeared! It’s fate!” Dirk grinned widely.

“Dirk” Farah’s tone was gentle as she moved her hand so it was holding Todd’s, “We’re kind of busy.”

Dirk looked confused and Farah nodded to their joined hands. Dirk gasped and pointed at them, a blush on his face.

“Oh my did I interrupt your date time?” it was clear it hadn’t been intentional. Todd had told him but Dirk was…well memory wasn’t his strong suit.

“Yeah just a bit” Todd answered but without any real anger. It had been an accident after all.

“I…I’ll just go” Dirk offered looking like a kicked puppy. Farah sighed but smiled at Dirk fondly.

“You could join us? We have more than enough food” she shot Todd an apologetic glance but it was hard for either of them to feel resentful considering the way Dirk lit up in excitement.

“Really?”

Like Todd could say no to that face.

“Yeah yeah come on and sit down.”

 

**Frozen Yogurt**

Frozen yogurt wasn’t high on the list of things Todd appreciated but Farah did and that was the important thing.

Besides he could appreciate the aesthetic of Farah all soft around the edges in a bright, happy shop holding a paper bowel filled chocolate frozen yogurt and candies.

It wasn’t a thing he thought he’d be into but then before meeting Farah he didn’t think he’d be into women who could literally break him two either. He’d learned a lot about himself recently.

They were sat at a little table by the window chatting about Amanda and her van of boys, of their most recent case and the fallout from it, about how Todd nearly throttled Dirk for being annoying last night, and lastly about how Lydia was doing.

It was soft and pleasant and they were leaning into each other, laughing often and touching each other with small, fleeting touches.

It was perfect.

“TODDDDD!!!”

 _Was_ being the operative word.

Todd hung his head as Dirk came barely into the shop, his hair wild and…was he on fire!?

Farah stood up hurriedly and rushed to put Dirk out.

“Oh Farah you’re here too! Good.”

“What’s happening?” Todd asked, too exasperated to get angry.

“Ah I’m glad you asked. I found our next case.” Dirk nodded decisively before his brow scrunching and his gaze becoming distant, “Or he just wants to kill us” there was a pause before Dirk shook his head and smiled “anyway that doesn’t matter! What matter is that we get to the goldfish before the elephant shows up”

Todd sighed and shared a look with Farah that clearly said goodbye to their half eaten frozen yogurt. Farah gave it a longing glance but sighed straightening.

“Right we’re with you” she said turning away from Todd who had a sudden brainwave.

“Wait!” he called and as they turned back he spooned some of Farah’s yogurt into his mouth and holding it there he walked up to Farah and raising up on his toes slightly he kissed her. She gasped slightly at the cold of his lips and that gave him the opening he needed and carefully pushed the frozen yogurt into her mouth with his tongue which gave a swirl inside her mouth before he pulled back.

Farah’s eyes were slightly glazed and her lips were chocolatey when he pulled away.

Todd felt very smug about it.

Up until the man with the flamethrower appeared.

**Aquarium**

As they entered the aquarium Todd slipped his hand into Farah’s which made her give him a little bashful smile.

The walked into the first big room with the touch pools holding hands. They came to stop near one of them.

Farah smiled at the starfish and other things living in the water.

“They are so colourful” she said with a squeeze to Todd’s hand.

“But also quite weird, did you know that starfish eat inside out? They push their mouths out of their bodies and into the shell of what they want to eat and then like…dissolve it before returning their mouth. It’s really quite bizarre”

They both turned at the familiar voice. There was Dirk smiling at them brightly.

“Let me guess you had a hunch?” Todd suggested with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course! And it led me to you! Everything is connected!” Dirk looked so happy.

“Uh Dirk? We’re…that is Todd and I…I mean we’re…” Farah paused in her attempts to find a polite way to tell Dirk to fuck off but couldn’t think of any, so she sighed and gathered herself before smiling at Dirk, “Would you like to join us?” she asked instead.

They ended up getting Dirk a hat that looked like a cartoon shark was chomping on his head from the gift shop

**Candle-lit Dinner**

To say Todd was surprised to see Farah outside the apartment he shared with Dirk would be an understatement.

“Farah?” he asked and she turned to look at with surprise, “What are you doing here?” he continued as he pulled out his keys with one hand, shifting the bag he was carrying to the other, “I mean not that you aren’t welcome! It’s just you usually call first and is it something bad?”

“I…no it’s fine but…Dirk texted me to meet you guys here around now did you…did you not know about that?” she asked in return.  Todd was only more confused.

“No” he answered as the door opened, “not at…all….” He trailed off as he entered the room with Farah close behind.

The dining room table was pulled out, settings for two people and candles on the table and near it the only light.

“Surprise!” Dirk yelled jumping out of the other room, “I just…for you two!” he finished waving an arm between Farah and Todd and the table.

“What do you mean for us?” Todd asked after a moment of gaping.

“Well it’s a date, a _romantic_ date. I know…I’ve been a bit of a gooseberry recently and I feel really bad about it so here you go! You can have the apartment and share this rather nice bottle of wine and a…pizza. You were going to have beef wellington but there was a slight fire incident.”

They shared a look, they were tempted to take Dirk up on his offer but didn’t want him to feel left out and alone.

But Farah looked Todd over from head to toe in a way that made Todd blush and then looked back at Dirk to give him a decisive nod.

“Okay, you can stay at my place” she tossed her keys over and Dirk grinned and bounced slightly in excitement.

“You’ll have a great time! Now don’t get up to anything I wouldn’t do but there’s condoms in the bedside drawer” he smirked and sort of sidled past them before returning and giving Todd a quick kiss, “Be good her Todd, she deserves it.” Dirk commanded before looking at Farah “Same goes about Todd, take good care of him” Farah returned his nod with a solemn look which made Todd roll his eyes.

Then he was gone and Todd turned held out his arm for Farah.

“Shall we?” he asked and got a laugh and kiss in return.

Much later after the candles had died out and the food and wine gone they made love. That’s the only word you could use for the sweet, languid movements, the kisses, the breathes for more. The hot gentle sweetness of those actions could only ever be described as lovemaking.

Todd figured he owed Dirk a _spectacular_ date after this, and boy oh boy was this worth waiting for.

**Author's Note:**

> Tfw when your fic which was supposed to be a humorous story about Dirk being a third wheel turns into an examination of Soft Farah and Todd being Into That.
> 
> I have a real headcanon that while Farah is a badass who could break Todd and Dirk over her knee easily she is also very soft when given the chance and likes pastels and romance and the like. 
> 
> She'll just be wearing sensible shoes and her gun on her very soft romantic dates. Which is part of why Todd loves her.
> 
> The next part of the series will also be Farah centric because there aren't enough Farah/Todd stories but the next two after that are a Todd story and a Dirk story.


End file.
